It is possible for one to learn to let go of the conflict in their lives. Everyone has a past. Everyone has events from their past that they are not proud of. Wishing that things “were” different just isn’t going to do any good. To continue to re-think and to play a what-if analysis on past events is a waste of time and energy if it is only directed at trying to change the past. The past is history, and tomorrow’s a mystery. Focus your energies on today and avoid letting past conflict hold you back.
If one can focus on the present and learn to release the concerns of yesterday, they will find that today is what matters. Although one can experiment with different strategies on their own, there are many techniques that one can use to “file for divorce from the past” and it is only important that you find the ways that are right for you.
Release Your Negative Thoughts
Ruminating negatively about past events or your actions during past events is seldom productive. Some people see only mistakes in their past whereas others see these same mistakes as opportunities to learn; or as teaching moments. Where you may have made a bad choice, you now have the opportunity to learn from what happens as a result of that type of bad choice.
What is more important than dwelling on past mistakes is taking that information that you have learned and put it to good use – this is the old, “You can’t make lemonade without a few lemons!” When you find yourself thinking negatively about your past, try a tactic that makes you focus on the present.
Some ways to help you focus on the present include:
– Exercise to raise your level of endorphins
– Volunteer or getting involved in the community helping someone
– Meditate, pray, or practice some visualization techniques
– Using affirmations to realize what positive things you currently have in your life
Conquer Your Conflict
Descartes said “I think, therefore I am!” There is great power in our thoughts and it is far better to use this power for the positive instead of for the negative. The way that one gets more positive energy to flow their way is by looking at their experiences in a positive light. There are normally some positives that can be taken from any negative outcome, and always remember, it’s mind over matter, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!
There is always good if you look for it.
Some may have trouble looking at some situations and finding the “good” in it. Perhaps you have been pulled over for speeding and the officer gave you a ticket that is going to come with a hefty fine, where’s the good in that, Maybe as a result you will alter your whole attitude about driving, start to leave earlier to avoid rushing, learn how to plan better, and wind up getting a promotion as a result. Never say never!
Make corrections on your journey if you need to, but avoid going backwards. Moving forward, into a bright future and away from conflict, should be your focus. When disconcerting thoughts of the past appear, gently urge them away with thoughts of the future. Avoid letting that negative voice get to you, because it isn’t what’s true and real.
People usually know intuitively what’s really important and what isn’t even though our emotions try to tell us otherwise. Efforts to review the past should only be done to the extent that we use these lessons learned to keep from making the same mistake again. Einstein’s definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Don’t dwell on past conflicts, learn the lessons, and move on.
It’s not possible to change your past, but it is possible to live for today.
Something to remind yourself of each and every day is that short of inventing a time machine that will take you back into your past, what’s done is done. Why live with regret and conflict when there’s joy and beauty to be found, Live in the light of peace and joy each day, and focus your energies on what you can do to make things better for yourself and the world around you.
Joy is at the end of hoping that happiness will be there some day. Sometimes it takes more than hope, it takes effort. It is hard to look into the future if you are constantly looking into a rear-view mirror. Understanding that your past is an anchor that keeps you moored at a fixed location will help you to understand that to sail ahead, you must first weigh anchor!