Because of convenience, speed dating has become wildly popular in the past few years. Busy professionals, recently divorced, and just plain lonely singles find speed dating is an important tool for covering a lot of potential partners in a very short space of time. There is also the advantage of having access to other people in the same situation thus leveling the playing field. No one need feel awkward because all are in the same situation.
Opting for a speed date event is also exciting because the fear of rejection is mostly removed. We all know what it feels like to approach someone at a bar, at work, or some function only to find out they are already seeing someone. Makes you feel a little foolish even though you did not know they were already in a relationship or they are simply not looking to date anyone at the moment. So, it’s important that you not take it as a rejection of you as a person.
That feeling of rejection is one of the major reasons why speed dating events are so popular. Everyone attending has the same motive – meet and date a potential partner whether for fun or something more permanent. While there is a level of rejection, it is not as harsh as a one-on-one attempt to date a specific person. These dating events are really “artificial” dates designed to bring strangers together to see if there are common interests or chemistry that could result in one or more “real” dates. These dating events give you the chance to see if there is some spark before you go further. It avoids pursuing unrealistic expectations.
Speed dating also teaches us that there are many fish in the sea and not just one perfect catch for each of us. Of course this is just not true. Mate matching companies make billions claiming to match people by selling the idea that they can help you find that one perfect person for you. The world is a big place and, while personalities vary from person to person as do physical appearance, to say there is only one person in the world for each of us is ridiculous.
This fact should give you hope. The more people you meet, the greater chance of finding several people with whom you can have a meaningful relationship, even marriage.
The size of the speed dating event will determine how many people you are exposed to. You could sit with someone for as little as 3 minutes or as much as 10 minutes. Some will click with you but you will not click with them, some will leave you cold while they will think you are a hot prospect. There is no formula and no guarantee. You may have to attend more than one speed date event before you find someone that is a match for a real date.
If you walk away without a good prospect, don’t be discouraged and don’t feel rejected. Remember that many others have the same experience. It’s a numbers game really. Keep at it until you succeed. It beats being rejected by someone in your current sphere of life whom you might see every day.
So, what about blind dating,
Having a friend or relative fix you up with a blind date has been around since we carried clubs and ate our meat raw. Well, maybe not that long, but at least since we became civilized. And, of course, most of us can remember a disaster when we were paired with someone that our well-meaning friend or relative thought was perfect for us. As if they know. Well, most of the time they simply do not know what we are looking for in a mate. That goes for the blind date they fix us up with, as well. It’s a bad experience for both parties.
So, how do you make a blind date into an enjoyable experience,
The first thing is to go into the date with no unrealistic expectations of meeting your perfect mate. This is a date that should be based on two strangers getting to know one another. It’s like speed dating, only you have a whole lot more time to see if you two will click.
Get romance or first base scoring out of your mind. In fact, lighten the experience by talking with your date about the whole experience of being paired by other people who do not have a clue about each of you. Laugh about it. Remove the tension by establishing the fact that you just want to enjoy their company and have a good time.
Keep all conversation general. If your date wants to talk about personal issues, just listen without judgment or advice unless asked. Don’t get into their past relationships or discuss yours, either, even if they bring it up. Try to steer the conversation in another direction.
You were fixed-up because you seemed to have a lot in common or that your personalities are similar. This may or may not be true at all so be aware of this as you move through the date. Avoid trying to be someone you are not, someone you will always have to be from that point if you intend to continue dating this person. It’s a trap that is easy to fall into especially if you are lonely. Stand or fall on who you are. You’ll be glad you did in the long run.
You can get more tips and asks questions on the Best Dating Tips blog. Scroll down.